Mad Libs

Dear Cate, I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose under the bus and hit on my My Little Pony collection. I'm sure you're high enough to understand how boring you are. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your virginity as a memory. You should also know that I haven't showered in a month and you should get that embarrassing rash checked.
Warm tingly sensations,
Melissa.


Have a go if you like...here are the instructions.

Dear (someone),I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and (4)(5).I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.You should also know that I (10) and (11).(12),(Your name).


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your dog
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When you smacked my ass
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - when i quoted forest gump
July – when you put cuffs on me
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When u finally changed ur underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the colour of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Carve your initials into
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Put whipped cream on
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - vexed
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other - Slutty

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - The cut toenails
Red - Your Hannah Montanna underwear
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink(ish) - Your love letters to me
Other - The pictures from Vegas

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your collection of butterflies
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbor dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - your virginity
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your glass eye
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Haven’t showered in a month
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F - i hate your cooking
G/H – am better off without you
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X- I told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Y/Z-bought tampons from winn dixie

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – you should stop picking your nose
Other – Thanks for the Cocaine

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Italy - Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself about the bruise

Merry Christmas!

From the Armstrongs to you, we hope your Christmas was as blessed as ours.

Still Here

I'm still here, I'm just not doing anything exciting.

I'm pretty well set for Christmas, just a few things left to wrap. As usual, I'm just waiting on Canada Post to finish delivering my gifts. I can get them mailed weeks in advance, and it still a crap shoot if they get there before the 24th. I refuse to use Fed-Ex, since they expect duty to be paid on them, by the people receiving them. And it's too expensive for me to hand deliver. :)

There is snow on the ground, but the weather guy says any snow we get before Christmas will be gone by the end of Christmas Day.

Last night, I went to a step class at the gym. It was fun, and a good workout. I'd like to try and make it each Thursday if I can. I am not running as much, but I'm still trying to run a few miles a week. I do want to do another half marathon next year, just trying to figure out which one.

Anyways, that's all that is going on. Hope everyone's Christmas plans are coming together nicely. I've gotten into watching reruns of 3rd Rock From The Sun, so I'll close with a quote from that.

Mary Albright: I think you look distinguished with gray hair.
Dick Solomon: Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair, too.
Mary Albright: No. When men get gray hair, they look distinguished. When women get gray hair, they look old.
Dick Solomon: When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.
Mary Albright: Good point!

Merry Christmas!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Oh Yeah, It's Winter

We've been getting snow every few days. It's nice if you can get some sun to dry up the roads the next day. I really, really do not like driving on snow & ice. Call me a wuss, I don't care.

I'm nearly done shopping for Christmas. I may be able to finish this weekend. I would like to get a tree this weekend too, if we have time. Geoff won't put up the fake one, he says only LED lights this year.

Tomorrow night (weather permitting) we'll go to the Parade Of Lights. We don't know yet when (or if) we'll make it to Zoo Lights. Really, I'm content to drive around our neighborhood and look at lights. It's fun enough for me. :)

Nothing else is going on. Bible study has wrapped up until January.

In tv news, January will be a great month. The return of Burn Notice, Psych, & Lost! I'm tired of reading the movie news on IMDB, because it seems every other story has the word "remake" in it, and I just cringe. There are a ton of books out there, can't they adapt them? Why do they have to remake old movies?

Right now, the boys and I are watching Chicken Little (AGAIN!) So I'll close with a quote from that.

Buck Cluck: I'd like to see the movie they make about you now.
Chicken Little: I just hope they stay true to what really happened.
Buck Cluck: Oh, son. These people are from Hollywood. The one thing they will never do is mess with a good story.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like...

Winter

For The Few

I think Christmas shopping would be way less stressful if...
1. I didn't have to ship gifts. Then I could take my time buying them, not worrying about sending them off beginning of December. Also I wouldn't be limited by shape or size.
2. The people I shopped for didn't already buy themselves whatever they want 24/7. Then I could shop year round, without fear of a duplicate gift.

Aside from that, I am looking forward to a fun holiday season. The boys are older, and they can help out more. For example, Elijah put stickers on all the envelopes of the Christmas cards. They both will be able to help with the Christmas cookie cut outs, and hanging of ornaments.

Some Christmas traditions we hope to enjoy are visiting Santa, and going to see Zoo Lights. This year, we hope to take in the Parade of Lights downtown. We'll bundle up, bring our camping chairs, and enjoy the parade.

I can't wait to receive Christmas cards & letters from friends, so I can hear all about how everyone's year has been.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and it will just be the four of us this year. We sent out many offers to share our feast, but everyone left town for the holiday. There will be turkey sandwiches for weeks! It will truly be a time to look on how thankful and blessed we are.

Happy Thanksgiving friends!

In A Christmas Mood

A little Christmas quiz, I hope you'll copy and paste on your blog:

1. Getting kissed under the mistletoe or in the snow?
The snow

2. Santa or Rudolph?
Santa

3. Stocking or presents?
Presents

4. Egg nog or hot cider?
Neither, gimme hot chocolate

5. Angel or Star?
Angel

6. Decorating the tree or putting lights on the outside?
Decorating the tree

7. Warm fires or sleigh rides?
I've never been on a sleigh ride, so warm fire

8. Expensive presents or presents that come from the heart?
From the heart

9. Snow ball fight or snowman?
Snowman

10. Will you be getting coal or presents?
Presents, I hope

11. Giving or Receiving presents?
Giving

12. Open presents quick or slow?
Quick

13. Caroling or Christmas stories?
Caroling

14. Snowy days or icy days?
Snowy

15. Red or Green?
Green

16. Nightmare before Christmas or The Santa Clause?
I'm gonna go with Santa Clause, because it's a little happier

17. Dasher or Dancer?
Dasher

18. Prancer or Vixen?
Prancer

19. Comet or Cupid?
Comet

20. Donner or Blitzen?
Donner

21. Fake tree or Real tree?
Real

22. Prime Rib or Ham?
Ham

23. Red and White Candy Canes or Colorful Candy Canes?
Red and White

24. Get up early or sleep in late?
Early!

25. Old Christmas Movies or New ones?
I like the newer ones

26. The Santa Clause 1 or The Santa Clause 2?
They're both entertaining

27. The Grinch movie or Elf movie?
Elf for sure!

28. Scrooge or Tiny Tim?
Scrooge

29. Ornaments or a Wreath?
Ornaments

30. Christmas Eve or Christmas day?
Christmas Day

Before Christmas:
1. Does your family send Christmas cards?
You bet

2. How soon do you start shopping?
As soon as I can find the right thing

3. Who do you shop for?
Family

4. Do you put up a Christmas tree?
Two, one real, one fake

5. If so, is it fake or real?
Both

Decorations:
6. Do you like tinsel?
I used to love it, but I don't enough to put it up. So we found tinsel icicles that we put up.

7. Do you use homemade or store bought ornaments?
Little of both, mostly store bought

8. Do you put Christmas lights outside your house?
Yes

9. Do you put lights on the tree?
Yes

10. How about popcorn and cranberries?
Nope

11. Is there a wreath hanging on your door?
I wish

Christmas Eve:
13. Do you hang up your stocking?
Yes

14. Does your family read "Twas the night before Christmas?":
Yes

Favorite:
15. Christmas Movie?
Either Elf or The Ref

16. Character from any Christmas Movie?
Ghost Of Christmas Past from Scrooged

17. Christmas Song?
Oh Holy Night (Josh Groban), anything off of Harry Connick Jr's Christmas albums, traditionally, I like Do You Hear What I Hear?

18. Christmas Memory?
My first Christmas as Mrs. Armstrong was good. Last year with the kids. Seeing Colin be so disappointed the year my parents wrapped his gift in a cracker box. The Christmas Day we spent at Disneyland.

This or That:
19. White Lights or Colored Lights?
Colored

20. Blinking Lights or Still Lights?
Both

21. Were you Naughty or Nice this year?
Mostly nice

Presents:
22. What do you want for Christmas this year?
It doesn't matter, it's all good

23. When do you open your gifts?
One on Christmas Eve and then the rest on Christmas Day.

24. What's the best gift you've ever gotten?
Earrings from Geoff, and last year's Wii was pretty cool.

25. What's the worst gift you've ever gotten?
The infamous jar of mints.

26. Have you ever had a secret Santa?
Sure

27. Do you like wrapping gifts?
If they are easy to wrap, yes. I'm not very good, and I used to work at Hallmark.

Random:
28. Do you put change in those red buckets?
Yes

29. Do you burn a yule log?
No

30. Can you name all the reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Comet, Donner, and Blitzen, and Rudolph. And isn't there an Olive?

31. Do you bake cookies?
Yes

32. Have you ever seen your mommy kissing Santa Claus?
No

33. Have you ever gotten a kiss under the mistletoe?
Yes

34. Do you drive around and look at the Christmas lights?
Yes, I hope someday to have people want to drive by my place.

35. Have you ever left Santa cookies?
Yes

36. Have you ever sat on Santa's lap?
Yes, but not in a long time

37. Who do you celebrate Christmas with?
Usually family

38. Where do you celebrate Christmas?
Lately it's been home

39. Have you ever had a white Christmas?
Almost all my Christmases have been white

40. What part of Christmas do you look most foward to?
The music, the lights, the excitement of the boys

41. Have you ever had your picture taken with Santa?
Sure

42. Does your family always take pictures at Christmas?
It's a tradition

An Open Letter To Will Smith

Dear Mr. Will Smith,

I am thrilled you have decided to visit Denver. I only wish I could be there to greet you tomorrow on the red carpet. I will be at home with my two small children. As a parent, I know you'll understand.

I think it's wonderful that you are coming to support the film festival, but not as wonderful as your kind donation to the Food Bank of the Rockies and the Denver Rescue Mission. Generosity, kindness, devotion to family, and a remarkable talent are the reasons you are one of my all time favorite movie/tv/music stars.

I hope our city treats you well, you are welcome to back anytime. I'd love to sit down and talk with you someday, I'm sure you have a lot of interesting things to say.

Best of luck in all your future projects,
Love Melissa Armstrong

What A Weekend

Friday night, our friend Cristina came over to babysit while Geoff and I headed downtown to take in Night At The Museums. This is the 2nd year (I think) they've done this. Museums stay open late, for free, and you can museum hop. Shuttles were added this year, to make it easier. It was a chilly night, and we only made it to one museum, the Denver Art Museum. We ran into some friends there, and I discovered that I'm not all that crazy about modern art. Most of the pieces left me feeling disturbed, or depressed. There were a few standouts, like Fox Games



And the Houdon exhibit from the Louvre. Next year, I think we'll try to start earlier, and hit the Molly Brown House and the Natural History Museum.

Saturday night, I got the opportunity to attend the Starz Film Festival and see Slumdog Millionaire.



I heard good buzz about it, and it lived up to it. I think it will fare okay around Oscar time. I was the guest of a co-worker of Kelly's, who moved here to Denver with his wife. Back to the movie, it was moving, and at times hard to watch, other times I was laughing out loud. I obviously don't get out to the movies much (this was my 4th this year!), but I would encourage everyone to see it when it opens near you.

I think the one thing I walked away with was how blessed I am, to not have to beg for a living. I had parents, a house, clothes and toys. Seeing children begging and stealing to get by, it's hard to imagine. For me, anyways. I've lead a sheltered life, the "bad side" of Edmonton pales in comparison to the slums of Bombay/Mumbai.

In tv news, Top Chef is back, and there are two cheftestants from Colorado. Whoo! Represent! And are you watching Fringe? Because you should be. I'll close with a quote from it.

Walter: (on the phone) Uh, hello, Peter. This is me, your father. Walter Bishop.
Peter: Thank you, Walter, I know who you are.
Walter: Excellent.

November?

Yeah, it's almost mid-November, and I'm behind on my Christmas schedule. Don't start judging me, I have to mail stuff to Canada, and the mail always takes forever to get the job done. So I like to start early. And I'm behind.

What's been going on? Uh, the usual. Mom stuff, bible study (which I am so not focussed on), and it seems I flucuate every other day on having a pity party. A case of the "maybe I think more highly of my friends than they do of me". Feeling a little neglected from some people I've been trying to reach out to. I'm dealing with it, and putting more energy towards those friends who do make an effort with me.

The days are feeling too long, the weekends with Geoff feel too short. With the kids up at 6-6:30am then going to bed at 7:30 & 8:30, that leaves about an hour alone with my husband before we retire to bed and we start the cycle again. This is why marriage is hard work. :)

Trying to find time to watch movies in that schedule, I have to say we haven't been able to stay awake to achieve that. We do watch tv that we have on the DVR. Like Living With Ed, Dream House, and endless episodes of Arrested Development. But don't feel bad for us, we've got a date on Friday night. God Bless Christina, who is coming down from Boulder to babysit.

I missed my KUCI reunion on the weeekend. I was not able to find a cheap flight out to O.C. Bummer. Maybe next time. All these trips that I miss out on, will hopefully be made up for if we can pull off the trip to Monterey, CA in the spring. It would be lovely to get more visitors here in CO, next year already has the parents (naturally) and probably Athena. We'd like to get back up to Canada for a visit, but the visa situation is unclear, and money for 4 plane tickets is hard to come by.

Lastly, there are hardly words to convey how happy I am the election is over. It was really driving me crazy those last two days with all the phone calls.

Elijah is up, and he wants to watch Shrek, so I'll close with a quote from that.

Donkey: You, uh... you don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence...
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey: ... Can I stay with you?

November Birthdays

Happiest Birthday wishes to Kelly, Chad, Heather, Dylan & Dawn!

What Will Happen?

Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm ignorant, maybe I don't really know people at all, but I have a hard time believing that riots will break out after the election. Is it really something people need to do to show how angry they are their candidate didn't win? Does it change anything? I know it is possible for either side to resort this kind of violence, I've seen it on the news, anti-Obama nutjobs throwing bricks through the Dems office windows here. Anti-McCain/Palin wackos threatening to do something drastic if the Republicans win.

I'd like to hear your thoughts, if you wanna share them. Can't people just accept whatever the end result will be and pray that good comes from it?

It seems appropriate to close with a quote from Men In Black.

Jay: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.

September/October Birthdays

Forgot to get around to posting the birthdays. So here's a belated birthday post. Happy Birthday to... Amy, Jen & Kaisara. Hope it was a good one.

The Life Of Mommy

It's 2pm, and I'm still in my jammies. :)

Today, I baked cookies, and watched Shrek 3 & 2 (in that order) with the boys. If nap time is successful, we'll watch Shrek afterwards.

What's going on with me? Not much. Reading books on Disneyland/DisneyWorld and gardening books. I'm doing my bible study on Thursday mornings again. Organizing my stuff, getting ready to give some bags to Goodwill. Because some of you were wondering about my health, I will tell you that everything seems to be normal, and I have a doctor appt tomorrow to confirm that everything is normal. I feel fine, please don't worry about me.

Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of Dad's passing. It's no harder that day than any other. Everyday, I wish he could have seen my kids, grown fond of them, found joy in them. I know he would have. I wish I could talk to him. I am thankful I still have Mom.

On a lighter note, in tv land 3 of my favorite shows are on. House, Fringe, and Eli Stone! Whoo-hoo! I'm happy ABC renewed Eli Stone, I think it's a great show. Thank God for my DVR. I'll close with a quote from Eli Stone, last season.

Eli: It's not even noon and I've already made my end-of-life decision. What have you done today?

Is This Thing On?

I'm here, I just haven't had anything blogworthy to write about. Which I take as a blessing. Too many people I know are stressed, depressed, or dealing with newborns. And I go about my quiet life, thankful for the quiet. Have to say honestly, that all these new babies & pregnancies stir feelings in me. Then I remember I still have two in diapers, and the feeling passes. :)

September was okay, but October is what I am excited for. It means seeing Chad & Khara again, bible study starting up again, running on a relay team for the Denver Marathon, and my in-laws are coming to visit!

Everyone has been pretty healthy this fall (thus far), the weather has been awesome, and I'm even finding time to read again. I have travel fever pretty bad, and no money to soothe it. I've got a good start on my Christmas shopping, or least laid out what I plan to buy (which is also hindered by lack of money).

I'll be oh so happy once the stupid election is over. I'm not even sure what I would do if I could vote. Neither candidate seems to have my issues at heart. Too bad I'm not stupid, then I could be swayed by what some celebrity tells me I should do. All the country's problems solved! I am mildly concerned about the money market problems, but it's hard for me to see how I'm affected (although Geoff says our retirement stuff isn't doing so hot).

I suppose I'll close now with a quote from Fringe.

Peter: Something on your mind?
Walter: Please. The term "on your mind" vexes me with its depictive inaccuracy.

Got Apples?

Make apple cake. Nothing says Fall like apples. :)

A Denver Staple

Dinner at Wynkoop with the Pauleys

Last night, Geoff & I were able to enjoy dinner at one of the restaurant staples of LoDo (Lower Downtown). We met Ryan & Milena (in town on their honeymoon) at Wynkoop Brewing Co. The atmosphere is nice, the food was awesome, and Geoff said he had the best IPA he's ever tasted. It's been maybe 6 years since I saw Ryan, who is a friend from my KUCI days. His wife Milena is cool too, and today they head back to Houston to survey the damage to their home. They know for certain that they will have lost all the food in their fridge, but hope that's the worst of their worries.

It's hard to believe we've lived here for 5 years, and have only eaten downtown maybe three times. I'm sure there are a ton of great places, so we hope to tap into that more often. We took the train downtown, because it's cheaper and easier than parking there. The only issue is it adds on more travel time (curse of living in the 'burbs). So while we left LoDo around 10, we didn't get back to the sitter's (awesome Amy, Jerry & their kids) until after 11. Elijah was still wide awake, and NOT willing to go home, much less go to bed. Miles eventually crashed at 10:30. I'm gonna owe Amy big time!

Tonight, I'm heading back downtown to go to Women Of Faith with some girls from church. It's all day Saturday as well. I hadn't originally planned to go, but Kim got such a good deal on tickets, I thought I'd take advantage of that.

In tv land, I started watching Fringe, which got the lucky timeslot after House. Fringe is right up the X-Files alley, if you dug that, you'll probably like it too. I'm happy House has returned, since Psych & Burn Notice are done their run until January.

I'll close with a quote from this week's House premiere.

Thirteen: This is Dr. House. He's too brilliant for introductions.

For Papa

Making my family listen to some Motown in honor of Papa's birthday. He would have been 58 today.

September

Fall is certainly here. We have cooler weather, which is a relief after a hot summer. Elijah is in preschool two mornings a week, and he seems to enjoy it.

Geoff is off this weekend helping his buddy run a 100 mile race. I hope it doesn't inspire him to take on such a crazy adventure.

I don't have much going on. I'm trying to get my health on track, as well as make time to work out, and read. My Beth Moore study for the fall does not yet have a start date, but I am going to Women Of Faith in two weeks. Our group got so tight this summer, we are almost desperate to stay in touch with each other. It's awesome. As my friend Amy said, it's better than a sorority.

Elijah has made me watch Madagascar twice in the last 12 hours. So I'll close with a quote from that.

Marty the Zebra: Alex, do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. If a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.