Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Road Not Taken

Roller coasters aren't fun for me. The emotional one I've been on the last few days, left me much like a real roller coaster does, in tears.

Knowing the time left on our visa has been ticking down, I've scoured the internet for months, sending job leads to Geoff. Job leads in Canada, in places I'd want to live. Then a job opening in Edmonton came up. The job sounded right, so he applied. And they said please come interview.

The weeks leading up to the interview we talked about whether we all would travel back to Alberta to visit. I spent time looking at real estate online. I started cleaning the house, so if we had to sell, I wouldn't feel overwhelmed. Ultimately, we decided Geoff would travel alone, but we did make the trip known to someone in Edmonton. In case Geoff needed anything, I wanted him to be able to reach out to someone without blindsiding them.

The interview went well, and Geoff called to say, we need to talk about this seriously. They were offering him a very nice job, a job with security. My mind wouldn't calm down. The thought of picking up and leaving the U.S. consumed me. I talked to people about finances, selling the house, researched houses further. And all the while we prayed and talked about it.

Each day I thought we were settled one way, and then we'd swing the other way. I didn't want to commit to a decision until Geoff spoke to his bosses. I felt ill to my stomach. I did not want to make a decision of this magnitude.

The morning of his meeting, he asked me, what do you think? I told him, it's my dream to live here, to get the green card, and become a U.S. citizen. But my fear was that it wasn't God's dream for me. I had prepared myself that maybe some dreams don't get realized.

When Geoff's meeting had ended, the decision had been made. We were turning down the offer, we were going forward with the green card application, with assistance from the University. We were staying in Colorado, and praying that God would be sovereign over the green card process.

I got off the phone with Geoff and just cried. I knew I would cry at either decision. Because I had submitted to the idea of moving.

I've been pleased that the support we have gotten from family & friends has been favorable. It's made it easier to have peace. My father-in-law called it a "gutsy" move, but I sensed pride. We're not taking the easy road. I likened the decision to playing Deal Or No Deal. We could have taken the case with $750K, but we're holding out that we'll eventually get the $1M case.

And that million dollar case... that'll be holding dual citizenships, Canadian and American.


Stacey said...

Wow!! Sounds like a rough while. Glad you finally came to a desicion that's right for you!

Cindy said...

Dearest Armstrongs -- What a road God has you on! I pray with you that you follow His will and that the decision to stay will continue & always be a blessing to your sweet family. Love, Cindy & all the Kroliks

Amy said...

I have been through the moving roller coaster, too. Will we? Won't we? Will we? Won't we? Once to Australia (Nik actually spent 3 months there), and several times to North Carolina. Each time we ended up staying here. Colorado is home, and I'm happy we chose status quo--for now.

carey said...

well, my dear life has a way of throwing you a curve when you don't expect it. of course I am disappointed that you are not coming back at this time but I know you two will talk it out and trust your faith.
when you left Canada I asked God to take care of you and he has......
and so your adventure continues, and I have a beautiful place to visit.

janehadji said...

Thank you so much for sharing your decision -- I feel confident that you've made a good choice! My husband is also from somewhere else and we've been through the green card/citizenhship thing many times, first with him and then with his family. It isn't always easy, but I'm glad you've made the choice to stay. This country needs more people like you!

Cate said...

I'm proud of you both. Much love.