A Month Of Musings

Wow. I didn't think I'd be able to finish NaBloPoMo. And here, 30 days later, I'm writing my last post.

What did I learn?

1. It's hard. It's hard to write for 30 days straight. It's hard to make time. But I wanted so very much not to be a quitter.

2. It pays off. I got at least one new reader-so hopefully she'll keep on reading and my readership will grow.

Would I do it again?

Yes. So long as it doesn't begin December 1st.

Living In A Marshmallow World

I live in a marshmallow world. I'm a white girl, surrounded by white people. I don't go out of my way to avoid minorities, but I also don't seem to meet any. Thus, my world isn't nearly as diverse as I would like.

I actually would like to meet people with rich cultures. I'd like to expand my knowledge and world view. I'm not really sure how I go about that.

My neighbors that don't look like me are reserved to say hello. And some of my neighbors who do look like me, are kind of inconsiderate.

I think my plan of action is to befriend some of the parents of kids in Elijah's class. It's a start to changing my view.

Top Chef

I try to avoid a LOT of reality tv. I'm not into the kind of drama & smut they produce. But I LOVE Top Chef. From the first episode I was hooked. The cheftestants all had a passion for food & cooking, and it never really seemed about being on the show to be a star. These people were here to show off their kitchen skills and grab the title.

Every season brought forth a favorite to root for, and sometimes someone to root to go home. Now as the years go on, I love to hear that the chefs I grew to love are going on to successful projects.

I even eat up the reunion shows, because it gives you a chance to see a chef in a new light. I was never a fan of Stephen (season 1) until the reunion show when he apologized to Candice and allowed me to see he wasn't such a meanie. Now he's one of my favorites. Reunions can also turn me from a chef I previously liked, like Marcel-who comes across as someone with so much animosity.

The judges they have are awesome and the guest judges they get are great. These are also people who are passionate about food, who push the chefs to do their very best.

More than just a show, Top Chef has expanded my mind to try new ingredients and better my skills in the kitchen. I say Bravo to Bravo for a great program.

My favorite chefs: Harold (s1), Dave (s1), Lee Anne (s1), Stephan (s1), Miguel (s1), Sam (s2), Elia (s2), CJ (s3), Brian (s3), Casey (s3), Dale (s3), Richard (s4), Stephanie (s4), Antonia (s4), Hosea (s5), Fabio (s5), Jeff (s5), and this season Kevin & Eli.

Nosy

I'm way too nosy for my own good. I'm sure there is a more appropriate word for me. As much as I like surprises, I like to know stuff more.

As a child, I would always snoop for my Christmas presents. It got to the point where my parents would hide my gifts at the neighbor's house. Or the trunk of the car. Or the trunk of the neighbor's car.

It's bugging me that my husband, who abhors shopping on Black Friday, rose early to go out and buy my gift.

What did he get me?!

Do I really want the surprise to be spoiled? No. But this excitement is too much to be contained. In an effort to thwart me, he wrapped the gift while I was out doing my own shopping.

Let the speculation begin!

Thankfulness

I don't need any special day to look upon how thankful I am. I have people around me going through hard times, and it's a daily reminder that I am blessed.

I have a home, filled with healthy children, and a husband who provides for us. I have food in my fridge, clothes on my back, and a car that takes me where I need to go. I have family & friends who let me know they care. I have a Savior who gives me grace, and a church where I feel welcome.

This day, I hope someone reads this and knows I love them. As a sister, or a friend, or even someone I have not yet met. You are special nonetheless.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Favorite Thing

My favorite thing in the whole world is napping. I don't know if it's something I never let go of as a child, or if I rediscovered it in my youth.

I nap almost every day. The wii fit says with my 7-8hrs sleep a night, a nap is putting me at too much sleep. I disagree. I feel refreshed after a nap. Like I can take on the rest of my day, watching over Wingus & Dingus. Two wild boys=exhausted, stressed out Mommy.

My favorite spot to nap is in my bed, in a sunbeam, if one can be found. I sleep under the covers, even in the summertime. The comfort and weigh of the blankets helps me to drift off.

Just thinking about it now, makes me a little sleepy. zzzz

Our First American Thanksgiving

In Fall of 1999, we celebrated our first American Thanksgiving. We were without a car, in California, in a town that you badly needed a car to go ANYWHERE. A friend of Geoff's was heading back home to NY for the holiday and offered us the use of his car. Sweet! The world would be our oyster! We figured, hey with a car we could go anywhere for Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh how ignorant we were!

Nothing was open. Nothing. We drove around and it was like the town was deserted. Really? Not even KFC?

Disappointed, we drove home and ate from the food in our cupboards. Which was probably spam and beans, or something else depressing.

I'd like to contrast that sad image with the feast we'll be having this year: turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing (or dressing, if you will), pecan pie, pumpkin pie, cornbread, rolls, cranberry sauce and my favorite: gravy.

If you have no place to go for Thanksgiving, you are welcome here.

Keeping Kids Safe

Although I am not planning on having any more babies, I thought this was worth talking about. Evidently there is going to be a major crib recall. I read another article online about new crib regulations. Cribs will no longer be sold with drop sides? Wow.

I never had an issue with our crib, which we bought 2nd hand, a year before Elijah was born. We were trying to conceive, a friend was selling their crib for a good price, complete with bedding & bumper. We used that crib for both our sons, and sold it a year ago on Craigslist.

I'm 5'5" and when the crib needed to be set down to the lowest setting, I appreciated the drop side. We never had an issue with the rail moving when it shouldn't. But new regulations state the change is because of suffocation deaths.

I am interested to hear from you out there, still playing with babies, what you think about this. Will you replace your crib? I wonder what will become of all these cribs deemed unsafe? Landfills? Is there a new way we could repurpose these things?

Christmas At Southlands

We live in SE Aurora, and our nearest shopping area, Southlands, touts themselves as being a place of community. They even have a Main Street. Whether they think they truly accomplish this community feel, I'm not sure. They certainly have some work to do to achieve that.

Last night we went down there to check out their Christmas tree lighting and parade. They had a decent crowd, and the entertainment was alright. The emcee announced the parade would start in a few minutes, so we scoped out a place to check it out. After a few minutes, we opted to move closer to the start of the parade, and closer to where we parked. Though the parade had allegedly started, we were able to make it right to the beginning of the route, and there was no movement. We stood there for at least 10 minutes before the parade started.

Let me preface that I'm using the word parade loosely. By definition: a series of people or things appearing or being displayed one after. Okay, you had that. But with less than 10 groups in this parade, you would think it could

A: start on time!
and
B: not have such big gaps between the acts.

It was pretty chilly out there, and even though the kids were bundled, they still complained of being cold. Not nearly as much as Mom & Dad complained, but still.

We did not stick around for the tree lighting. With the way they were running their schedule, we figured we were in for more waiting. Next year, if it starts at 6pm, we'll go at 6:30. It will (hopefully) eliminate the waiting around for things to start.

Almost Too Late

Eep! I just realized I didn't blog today, and there are only 4 more hours left. I'm cold and my body aches, so I'm gonna cop out and just give you 3 facts about me.

1. I have never broken a bone. I've never been a big milk drinker, so I figure I must be a prime candidate for osteoporosis. But maybe I secretly have strong bones and I'll dodge that bullet.

2. I always wanted a sister. As a young girl, I had a big doll that I would pretend was my little sister. I would even dress her in some of my clothes. I couldn't tell you what her name was though. I'm a bad sister.

3. Someday I would like to be in a movie. I've been on television (local news), newspapers, and radio (hosted my own show)-but film has eluded me. Since moving away from California, I think my chances have slimmed.

When We Was Fab

I often look back on the early years of my marriage and wonder-how did we do all that? Where did I have the energy to work multiple jobs, spend time with my husband (going to school) and have the money to go out with our friends to dinner, movies and sporting events?

It almost seems like a different life to me. I had two jobs, I worked at a restaurant, and nights I would work at the sporting arena. We lived in a tiny bachelor suite, the only room that had a door was the bathroom. I worked, and Geoff went to university. Geoff worked summers at the university to pay for his schooling. We saw our families on the weekend, or during the week if my dad was taking us to the grocery store. We had no car, we either walked, took a bus/train or we bummed a ride from our friends.

Now we have a mortgage to pay for, kids to put into school, bills to pay. We hardly ever go out to dinner, movies or sporting events. We have few friends here that we actually hang out with.

I miss that old life. I am not so delusional to think that if we lived back home it would be different. We still would have bills to pay, but maybe we'd have those close friendships again. We're all married with kids now, though some in our circle of friends are not our friends anymore. People change, they grow apart.

But those days...I look back and think those were the days when we was fab.

Tomboy

I have lived most of my life being a tomboy. I got along better with boys, I liked playing with cars, and I liked roughhousing with my brother and dad. I had friends who were girls, but even then, none of them were girly girls.

At age 32, I don't wear makeup. I don't even own makeup. I've never really learned how to put it on. I remember when I was in 6th grade, I got makeup for my birthday (or Christmas). I piled on those greens and yellows all the way up to my eyebrows. I am ever so thankful there no pictures of that!

I have spent years trying to find my inner girly girl. I hate shoes. I only moderately like to shop. I don't watch shows like Desperate Housewives or Sex And The City.

I guess it's a blessing that I am raising two boys. I think I would have done okay with a girl, but I'm thankful I save a ton of money on clothes.

Lead Or Follow

I struggle with the fact that I want to be a leader, but without all the responsibilities.

I like to be in charge, but it scares me to be responsible for an end product.

I am frustrated when people don't work on the same timeline as I do. I get annoyed when people don't follow through. I hate having to check on people to make sure they are doing their job.

I like to communicate where things are at, and when I don't get that, it bothers me.

I guess that makes me a bit of a control freak. But being a control freak, I think that makes me a better follower.

I can take an idea and run with it. But rounding up people to help-making sure those people are committed- no thanks.

I don't think I could run my own company. I might grow to hate the boss.

Snow

Yes I am Canadian, but that does not mean I love snow. I don't hate snow. I have some found memories of playing in the snow.

My boys love snow! They get giddy when the flakes fly, they cry when the snow melts. I think Colorado weather is perfect for them. They get a taste for it, but they aren't saddled with it for 6 months of the year.*

With the snow we got on the weekend, the boys waited anxiously for it to be "snowman snow". Today, I got outside with them to assist with building Snowman Guy.



I'm okay if this winter we don't see a ton of snow. If I want snow, I'll go to the mountains.

*Canada doesn't really get 6 months of snow. But it feels like it.

Always Pack Light For A Guilt Trip

I love my grandparents, I do. I don't see them often because we live far away. I speak to them maybe once a year but send letters a few times a year.

When I called my mom on her cell this weekend, she was at my grandparents' home. "do you want to talk to them?" she asked.

"Uh, okay."

Conversation was pretty much about weather, and a brief overview of what's going on with us (The Christmas letter is going out soon, they'll have all the details).

Grandma closed the conversation with, "well, tell the boys we say hello, even though they don't know who we are".

Thanks for the guilt trip Grandma.

It's true, only Elijah, the almost 5 year old has met them. We haven't been to Canada in 4.5 years. Meaning there is family who haven't met Miles. And it is hard for my grandparents (in their eighties) to travel, particularly Grandpa who has been having health issues the last two years. But let's look at it from my perspective:

Cost of four plane tickets to Edmonton: $2500

That doesn't include a rental car, meals eaten out, or probable hotel accommodations because who has room for 4 extra people in their house?

Sure I feel badly that my kids don't know their extended family. But I can't spend my time feeling guilty about things I have no control over.

I know my Grandma doesn't mean it maliciously. I imagine getting older, you want to be surrounded by loved ones. To see the future generations and ponder what their futures will hold.

Just think how my brother feels. He lives near them and gets the same talk from Grandma.

Halfway Point

We are at the halfway point of NaBloPoMo. Is it getting easier? Heck no!

I have, in the past, been known to give up on things. Not because they are hard, but because by nature, I'm pretty lazy. In high school, I took law. I loved it, I excelled for the whole 3 weeks I took the class. Then I just stopped going.

I can admit it, I am lazy. I can go days without picking my clothes. I could waste a day eating nothing but junk food and watching tv.

Having two small children has forced me to be more responsible than I would normally be. I have other mouths to feed besides mine. I need to set a good example for my little mynah birds.

I will finish this month of blogging, and hopefully be inspiring and inspired enough to continue to blog regularly.

Or not.

Paging Dr. Freud

I nearly always remember my dreams. It's normal for me to recall my dreams, even more normal that I'll spend most of the next day trying to dissect them. You are now at the mercy of hearing about what I dreamt last night.

I dreamt that I was being chased by a bear. And a talking one at that. No matter how I tried to barricade myself in the house, he would get inside. I would flee, run to a near by cabin, but even there, he would find me. He continued to ask me "do you really think these locks are going to keep me out?"

What does it mean? I have no idea, but it has left me feeling unsettled. Here is what the dream means, according to dreammoods.com: To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear, denotes aggression, overwhelming obstacles and competition. You may find yourself in a threatening situation.

Being chased has a whole page devoted to it; Essentially it means I am feeling anxious about something. My reaction to run may be me trying to avoid the issue. I'm supposed to confront the bear. Also the distance between me & the bear is significant. The closer we are, the closer the problem is to me, and not likely to go away.

Hmm, so food for thought. I'll stew on that the rest of the day.

We won't discuss the other odd dreams I had this week.

But I ask you, do you remember your dreams? Do you analyze them?

Hit The Slopes

Do you know that I have only been skiing 3 times? None of those times have been on the beautiful mountains of Colorado.

I went skiing once on a bunny hill in high school, and then my first time was on my honeymoon in Jasper. The last time I skied was in 2003 at Mammoth in California.

I'm not adverse to skiing. I enjoy it, but not nearly enough to justify the price of a lift pass. I certainly don't want to spend the whole day out there. Not when there is a lodge with warmth, and my feet can breathe-not being crammed into awkward boots. Not when there is hot chocolate and hot tubs.

Someday, when the boys are older we'll aim to do a family ski day. Maybe we better start saving for that now.

Gary Moves On

It's with a little sadness I inform you that Gary, our 97 Saturn sedan is moving on to a new life. He was loyal car, joining our family in 2002 after the demise of our first car, Beatrice (may she rest in peace).

Gary proved his worth and while he still has some spunk him, we know he'll be happy in his new home. We wish him well.

Thanks for the memories Gary, and best of luck!

Mamas & Morton's

Last night Morton's Steakhouse in downtown Denver was overrun by the Mile High Mamas. I made my second appearance in as many weeks to a blogger event. Look out social calendar!

Seventh Generation donated some samples for us to try and let us know about the upcoming Million Baby Crawl on November 18. Their goal is to pass a law that will update regulation of toxic chemicals. While my "babies" aren't crawling anymore, I do believe we need to keep our kids safe. I try to buy products now with the environment and my kids in mind. These moms all felt the same way.

I won't be able to attend the "crawl" here in Denver, but I have shown my support on their website http://seventhgeneration.com/million-baby-crawl

As for the samples, they are going to make a great addition to our camping supplies. And Morton's- the food was wonderful. I especially enjoyed the filet mignon sandwiches with mustard mayonnaise. Delicious!



Thanks Mile High Mamas!

Caution: Falls In Love Easily

It's true. There are few places I've traveled where I haven't fallen in love. With the city.

Maybe I'm lucky, I visit beautiful cities. Or perhaps, I can find beauty nearly anywhere.

When we went to Ottawa, I thought, man I could totally live here. I'm a sucker for a town with history too.

Even on the rainiest of days in Glasgow, I wanted to stay there forever. The old gray buildings that I wanted to touch and know their stories.

The places we saw in California and the towns here in Colorado. I think I could live almost anywhere.

Except Toronto. That place smells like pee.

Important To Me

It was important to me for my boys to get the H1N1 flu shot. They get the regular flu shot every fall, and with this flu running rampant in the schools, I felt I had to try and get them vaccinated. I know some people have strong feelings against vaccinations, but I truly believe they are doing the world good.

Our pediatrician warned on their website they were not getting enough vaccine for their high risk patients, and if you could find the vaccine, get it. I got a call from Tri-County Health that they would be offering free vaccines at the nearest middle school on November 9th.

I was completely unprepared for the afternoon/evening that lay ahead of me! I arrived at the school 15 minutes before the clinic opened. Well, actually I left my house 30 minutes before, drove 5 minutes, parked and walked to the end of the line. The line snaked all around the school. It was crazy long, and continued to grow long after it grew dark. We befriended the family behind us, their son the same age as Elijah. The grassy areas gave them room to run. The sun began to sink, and we still had not made it inside the school. We spent between 90 minutes to 2 hrs before we got inside the school, and then they REALLY began the snaking. By the time we were all the way at the other end of the school, I thought I might cry! We were hungry, our feet hurt and we saw no end in sight.

3 hrs and 30 minutes later we made it to the nurse. The silver lining in all this: my boys got the flu mist- no needles! At least I didn't have to deal with crying kids as we stumbled back through the dark and tall grass to where we had parked our car.

Was it worth it? Time will tell. Had I been told when I arrived how long the wait would be, I would have turned around and left. Likewise, had I known I would be allowed to wait on school property early (say 1-2 hrs early), I might have brought my camping chairs and camped out.

Zumba

I don't like to exercise. Additionally, I don't really like my body, so I am forced to do something about it. Eating less and going to the gym are my solutions. Let me tell you...going to the gym 3 days a week is much easier to trying to eat less (I really am trying).

I get bored pretty easy at the gym with no workout buddy, and while I enjoy step class, it isn't offered at a good time of the day for me. I was thrilled to discover my gym offered a Zumba class. It's offered at a good time for me, not conflicting with dinner plans or preschool.

I had heard about Zumba on Twitter, and was anxious to try it. A class spent dancing for an hour? Sounds good to me!

The class I attend incorporates different dance styles and music, and the participants range in all shapes & ages. We warm up to Tina Turner, do some salsa and hip hop and cool down with the Bee Gees. Everyone has a good time.

This makes all the difference in the world. I love going to the gym now, and hope soon to see the fruits of my labor.

Night At The Museums

Denver held their first Night At The Museums in 2008, and it was such a huge success, they brought it back this year. This idea was birthed in Europe, an evening where museums would stay open late, and patrons could shuttle from one museum to another completely free. Denver uses this event to help kick off Denver Arts Week.

I love this idea! What a great date night, where you can choose from any number of museums to suit your cultural taste, or give you a chance to explore someplace you've never been. Last we we took full advantage of the free shuttle from Cherry Creek Mall, but they were not anticipating such a response and the wait time was a little long. We explored The Denver Art Museum, and even ran into a few friends. Unfortunately time did not allow us to visit another museum.

Tonight we are skipping the shuttle, and driving ourselves to the Denver Museum Of Nature & Science. We haven't been in a while, and have not yet seen the Expedition Health exhibit. Sadly, we missed out on getting tickets for the new Genghis Khan exhibit.

I encourage you to support your local museums!

Blogging Never Smelled So Good

Last night I attended my first blogger event. At first I thought my invite must have been a mistake. Whose radar did I land on? Well I decided I better say yes, so they couldn't take it back.

Glade put on a wonderful evening at the lovely Warwick Hotel in Downtown Denver. The food was good, but even better was the company I kept. I got to meet close to 10 other bloggers, some famous in their own rights. I felt a little sad I hadn't been following these ladies before, because they had a wealth of information to share.

On top of food and laughter, we were lucky enough to leave the event with a gift basket we made ourselves. Products were provided by the hostesses & Glade. One product included in my gift basket was Glade's Sense & Spray.

Although my husband isn't quite yet sure of the product, I like it. I've placed it in the smallest (and smelliest) bathroom, and the fragrance carries through the whole bottom of the house. I was also please to see I can get a refill with one of my favorite scents, clean linen!

I can't wait until my next blogger event!

My Own Version Of American Idol

Picture this:

A young girl, 16 or 17 years old, sees an ad for the chance to audition for a musical theatre company in her home town. Having gained a little confidence in choir class, she sets out to pursue her dream of singing and acting. She finds a pop song, one that she thinks would showcase her voice and practices for weeks.

The day of the audition, she heads down to the location. Frightened, she can hear a piano and other singers taking their shot. Shaky, her turn has comes. She enters a room, empty, except for a pianist and three very serious faces.

The piano begins to play, and the fear of this moment has been realized. Somehow she strains to sing the song, and time is moving so fast. Just trying to concentrate on the song is all consuming.

Once it is over, she feels awkward. She is told her choice of song wasn't appropriate (they didn't want a pop song). And in a Simon Cowell-esque tone, she is told even with lessons, they would not take her.

Defeated, she thanks them, and leaves the room. She leaves the building, and finally is able to cry.

Looking back, she is thankful that the only witnesses were those four people. Can you imagine, pouring your heart out on television?

As of this date, the young woman has sung in public a few times, but mostly uses her voice to entertain herself and her children. She is determined to take singing lessons someday.

Feeding The Masses

Now that we have established I like to cook (we established that right?), I must share my concern about feeding others.

I love to invite people over for dinner. But tonight I am serving 8 adults & 4 children and I am anxious. I can make a meal for my family, but cooking food for that many people makes me stress a little. Especially children. My kids will eat anything, other kids I have noticed are not like my kids.

Tonight I'm making Chicken Parmagiana. I have only made it once before. I stress about my time management and whether the dish will be enjoyed. So to begin alleviating my stress, I better start prepping.

What kind of food do you make for a big group of people?

Wannabe Foodie

I have a reputation amongst friends and family of being the picky eater. Granted my dislike list of food is longer than the Nile, but I've spent the last 10 years or so trying to overcome that.

Funny enough, I credit the Food Network. When we moved to California in 1999, we discovered the Food Network. Shows like Emeril Live and Good Eats blew my mind. I grew up in a home where we ate out a lot, and food came in boxes and cans. We would sometimes visit my grandparents on the farm and eat food grown from the garden. Those meals were yummy.*

Emeril & Alton gave way to other chefs like Tyler Florence, Morimoto (and the original Iron Chefs), and Mario Batali. Now I watch Top Chef and remark on the chefs that I've heard of.

Once upon a time I couldn't eat "fancy" food without it wrecking havoc on my stomach. Now the thought of Jack In The Box or Applebees make me cringe.

There are still many fruits & vegetables I've never tried, and ethnic cuisine is a slow process too. But the girl who grew up eating Minute Rice is making risotto this weekend.

I don't dream of one day opening my own restaurant. I do dream about having my children experience food and get excited by it.

Eat well my friends.

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." ~Voltaire

* I still won't eat my grandmother's signature dish, cabbage rolls. This upsets her.

Themes

My tweep Casual Perfectionist pointed out that a few years ago when she did NaBloPoMo there was theme. I thought to myself, would that hinder or help me? Today I ponder that very thing, wondering what do I write about today?

Last night, I dreamt I spoke to God. In my dream, he looked like Tom Collichio (let's not ask why). I recall asking him about the direction I should go with my life. He didn't answer much, would sort of look at me with a what do you think? look. As he walked away from me, I did ask him what my father thought about my choices. He assured me, my dad wanted me to do what made me happy.

Hardly a day goes by that I don't wish I could call my dad. I try not to blame myself for all those missed opportunities to tell him things. I try to focus on one of the more meaningful conversations we had before he passed. When I asked my father, do you talk God?

He replied, yes. I imagine being faced with cancer and death being a certainty that the thought of an afterlife, or a life without pain would have crossed his mind.

What do you say? I inquired. My whole life, we had never spoke of God before. But I needed assurance that my dad had set things right when he had the chance.

"I ask him to look after you kids, and Debbie . And that when it's time to go that I'll go".

I wiped tears from my eyes. "that's all I needed to know".

He died four days later. And after six years, my heart still aches.

A Better Writer

Geoff says the only way I'm going to get better at writing is to do it often. So I signed up for NaBloPoMo, forcing me to post every day for a month. Overwhelming? A little. But hopefully I will reap a benefit from it.

Let's get personal. I've been feeling like I'm living in limbo. With two years left on the visa, it's go time on seeing if a green card is going to happen. When we tell people about our journey, our friends find it confusing that two productive, law abiding people would have such a hard time becoming citizens. Yeah, how do you think we feel?! Longevity and having American-born children mean nothing to the process.

Though my heart longs to be close to my family, I truly feel that we were meant to live in the U.S. So much of our life happened here. Not to say I'm completely opposed to moving back to Canada. I'm just not sure after 10 years that I could adjust to a country I don't feel is home anymore.

Just as the move to America was lead by going where the science/job is, the same is true now. We will go where there is a job.

Let's wait and see what the future holds....

.....I hate waiting.