Craziness

When I woke this morning, I thought Geoff was here. I could hear Elijah fussing and thought why isn't he getting up to get him?

I had a dream last night about my old friend Barry, who hates being called Barry. Probably because it isn't his name, but he just never seemed like a Rick to me. I can't recall specific details about the dream, other than we were talking and catching up on the last few years. I haven't spoken to him since 2000, I think. We just drifted, with us moving, and also he dated our friend's ex-girlfriend. Which is a no-no. Unless of course the guy consents. But he was never given that option, so it just seemed like an underhanded thing to do. It was unfair to him that I was willing to forgive the girl involved before I forgave him. But as I said, we also just drifted apart. I heard he got married, and I guess he's doing okay. We don't have any mutual friends, so I don't really know much more than that.

It seems pointless to try to reconnect that friendship, as it's been so long, and I already have a ton of long-distance friendships. Plus he never was good at keeping in touch. But I don't think poorly of him, I look back on those years of friendship between us (him, Geoff & I and our little clique) and I smile. It's always odd to dream about people you haven't seen in a while.

It's funny how some relationships are so easy, and some are painful/annoying. There are so many factors that make them one way or another. I find it easy to be friends with people you haven't known for long, as there is so much to learn about them. Unless that person is unwilling to share past a superficial level, and then you always stay at a "aquaintance" comfort level. I have a few of those. It can be annoying, but I'm learning to let that go. If they don't want to move into a different place, then they can stay there. But you can enjoy that friendship, you just have to set realistic expectations about that person. Don't expect more from them than they are willing to give.

With someone you've known forever, there is a safety, a comfort in knowing they've seen you through so much. These can be work, as you don't want to get stuck rehashing the past, but you want to continue to build on the foundation. You continue to find new things you share in common, and you continue to build that trust, build that relationship. And yet there can be people you've known forever, and you feel like you don't really know them at all. They changed, you changed, and you both drift. I'm not really sure how that is repaired.

I guess new friendships for me are pretty easy. I am willing to make new friends, allow myself to be vulnerable, take that chance. It was hard to do that when we first got to CA, but it paid off in spades. I made some of the best friends of my life, and I got a family out of it too. You don't have to go to church to do it, but you do need to break out of your box, get out there, and interact with the world. It's too easy to stay indoors, squirrel yourself away, find excuses.

Wow. okay. That was cool.

As the title suggests, I got qutie the surprise today. I gave Elijah his bottle, then went upstairs to file something away. I got distracted reading something, and when I returned to the stairs to go back down, Elijah was in the bathroom at the top of the staircase. Yeah! He silently climbed the stairs while I was gone for 3 minutes. Yikes! Myrna says she has a gate at her place she isn't using, so either I'll borrow it, or we're going gate shopping this weekend. Problem is at the bottom of the staircase, we have two wide stairs, so the gate will have to go on the third step. And at the top, there is no wall to secure a gate, so if I got one, it would have to be to block in the loft. Well, Geoff and I will look into it this weekend.

That's about it from here. Tomorrow Geoff comes home. It will be nice to have the family all together again. :) In honor of that, I'll close with a quote from Return To Me.

Megan Dayton: Whatever you do, don't shave your legs.
Grace Briggs: Why?
Megan Dayton: Well, then you definitely won't let it go too far.
Grace Briggs: Megan! It's a *first* date!
Megan Dayton: Yeah, well, I married a first date, missy, and you know how it is. You're out with a guy, you find him attractive, and suddenly everything he says sounds brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality.
Grace Briggs: I think you should needle-point that on a pillow.